Gvozdev

Memoirs, written in a fictional manner, cover the entire life of the author. The first few pages, which tell about the physical and mental suffering of a disabled girl (a severe disease of the musculoskeletal system), are written in the third person. Then there is a sudden transition from “she” to “I” at the point in the story where we are talking about the last surgical operation (there were 11 in total) and the beginning of the Great Patriotic War.
The life of the Leningrad family under the bombing. Food - wood glue, bran for livestock, horse harness. A detailed description of how this food was prepared. "Funeral" of Leningraders. Heavy memories of flatmates who lost their human dignity due to hunger. In 1942, the cast was removed and the girl began to learn to walk on crutches. Summer 1943 in Lakhta, where she managed to recover a bit from the famine she had suffered thanks to the fact that she sewed dresses for local women. Return to Leningrad.
The author is 21 years old. Admission to the conservatory, study. Arrest. Small solitary cell. On the fifth day, the presentation of an arrest warrant. A search, during which they took away hair clips, a watch, but most importantly, a stick on which the author leaned when walking. Again a loner. Description of the camera, food. Summons for interrogation. Transitions, endless stairs - and without a stick! Night interrogations for several months. The investigator was interested in where the diary of the author, who “disappeared under mysterious circumstances” before his arrest, was located. (Entries were made in the diary every day.) The accusation of systematic anti-Soviet agitation, of reading Mein Kampf, of collecting leaflets, that she spoke of her intention to refuse to work on the collective farm. Useless refutation of the allegations by a girl who refers to a severe disability that does not allow her to move freely, which is necessary for agitation. The decision to commit suicide. Transfer as a punishment for this to a punishment cell for three days. The prosecutor demanding to sign the accusation and threatening with a revolver. Court. Announcement of the verdict - 10 years in the camp and 5 years of disqualification. Single again for six days. Investigator persuading the author to agree to be a decoy in prison, promising to release her “quietly” to freedom in six months. Her refusal.
Transfer to the 2nd women's prison to wait for the stage. The author's reflection on what happened to her. The realization that what happened was not an accident. The thought of deliberately confining people to camps for the purpose of using slave labor.
Stage to Karlag. Description of a twenty-day journey by train. Composition of 19 cars, 2 of which are women's; mostly Estonians, Latvians, Lithuanians. Terrifying thinness of men. An Estonian's story about the way the guards extorted valuables from the prisoners: a rope was lowered into the ventilation pipe in the roof of the car, the prisoners tied valuable things to it, and in return they lowered bread and tobacco in the same way.
Station Karlag. Bath. A detailed description of what happened there. Feelings of humiliation, resentment. Introduction to the zone. An offer from a stranger to go through the stage together. A warning from a fellow camper that this is a “thief in law” and that the author’s consent will turn into misfortune, since her life will completely depend on this person: if she wants, she will sell, if she wants, she will kill.
By decision of the head of the section, who sympathized with the disabled girl, work in the office. After work, the publication of the newspaper "Kolyuchka", participation in the choir. A story about some people who remained in the memory of the author. In addition to issuing money in the office, accounting for young animals, weighing, prescribing feed, etc.
The story of Krasheninnikov, the head of the section, who served 10 years for being on vacation in the Crimea, near Stalin's dacha, allegedly participated in an assassination attempt on the leader, then was rehabilitated and awarded an order and remained to work in the camp.
As a result of a circular that ordered the identification of prisoners unfit for work, the author was transferred to the 18th Dolinsk department. A humiliating examination by the medical board, shortly after which they returned the watch, gave out some money and a certificate of release.
Return to Leningrad, where instead of two rooms (31 sq.m. and 21 sq.m.) there was a 13-meter walk-through room, fenced off with plywood. The piano and all the furniture were sold by the mother so that the proceeds would help her daughter's release. (“And they took it, they knew that they would not help, but they took it.”)
Then the 101st kilometer, the village of Zapolye, a 4-hour drive from Leningrad. Secret visits home, lodging for the night in a closet. Calls by neighbors of a policeman who drove a disabled girl out of the house at night into the street. Unsuccessful attempt to get a job in Pluss. Birth of a child. Desperate situation - the inability to carry it in your arms. Lack of livelihood. Letter to Stalin asking for permission to move to Leningrad. After a while getting permission. Malice of neighbors, dissatisfied with the appearance of a mother with a child, their bullying. Severe illness of the mother due to constant experiences. Putting her in the hospital. Disease of dysentery of a child, also sent to the hospital. The device of the author in the artel of the disabled. Throwing between hospitals. Mother's death. A summons to vacate the area within 24 hours. Legal advice, city executive committee. As a result of walking the resolution: "To fix the living space for Lyudyno." Still bullying neighbors. The request of the head of the planning department to the author to replace her during the holidays. As it turned out, her husband was shot in 1937, which brought the women closer. Direction by the author's boss to study at the Industrial Academy. After graduation, independent work as an economist for the next 20 years. As a result of a heart attack at the age of 46, retirement. At the end of the story, there are sad reflections on broken human destinies, including one's own, and on bitter resentment. The last word of memories is “I won’t forgive!”.

The annotation was compiled by Zhidkova T.G.